Sometimes you just blow it

So it was a nice evening. Everything had been going well. I admit I am tired and a bit worn down but that is not an excuse. Just one of the factors in my story. It has been a long week for me. Very busy. Learning new computer stuff which is always a stretch for me. Waiting and hoping for much needed supplies to arrive. Anticipating a long weekend of working extra. Again not excuses, just the scenario that exists. So after a nice dinner I headed to town to have ice cream with a few friends.Before leaving the dock, a pleasant surprise as 20 needed pallets of freight arrived and were being off loaded on the dock. A huge answer to prayer.
     The ice cream and the company were very enjoyable. There were eleven of us and so we needed to take several taxis back to where we pick up the port shuttle back to the ship. This is not a new adventure. I have done it  at least 4 or 5 times and so I know  the drill.  A private taxi costs a certain price and a shared taxi that already has other clients is much cheaper. So we  hailed a cab and got in with another person.
     My first mistake was not  asking how much a head of time. I know better but I was tired and just wanted to get in and go, so I didn't. So we drove a  little, the other person  gets out and we go on to our destination. When we arrive the taxi driver wants 5 times what it should cost. This is not uncommon here and is frequently referred to by some of us as "the white tax". Having to pay extra for  something just because your white. Well tonight it made me really mad. I told the girl sitting in front not to pay it. We argued back and forth a bit with the driver using our limited french and his limited English. I got out and  went around as she was trying to count out the last of her coins to pay the extra. I was mad and  proceeded to argue some more. Of course this brought a few on lookers around to see why the white girls were arguing with the taxi man. They tried to intercede and tell him  that we were sort of locals and he should not charge us so much but he was adamant. So in the end we paid him what he wanted but not before me arguing and making a stink about it. Meanwhile the other taxis pulled up and several of the others were watching and one even came over to make sure we were OK. 
     You may ask why am I writing about it? Well I have since cooled  off and had my aha moment of what an idiot I was in the whole thing. After all so what if he charge me too much. What if I was his only fare tonight. What if that little extra was the gas money he needed to get home. Or the difference between taking dinner home and not eating. Or a dozen other possibilities.In the end after you convert the money it really is only a difference of around 1 dollar. So I acted like a jerk, arguing with this person over a dollar. Great missionary right?What a crappy witness.
     So, I have already asked God to forgive me and tomorrow I will ask my friends. If I get the chance I will probably have to ask the cabbie too. So why share this? Well maybe you can learn from my mistake. Even when we know someone is doing us wrong we have the opportunity to react different than the world would. I blew my chance tonight. I could have just paid the extra and considered it a blessing to him. I could have told him I knew the price was wrong and let it go. I could have given him extra,and surprised him even when he was being unkind. I could have prayed and not lost my temper. I could have been a better witness to my friends.  I could have done something, anything different. So tonight I blew it. Tomorrow , if tomorrow comes, His mercies will be new.

 Lamentations 2:22-23. Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassion's never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I share this for 2 reasons. First just to be real. Although I am trying to follow Jesus daily and live my life for Him, I don't always get it right. I fall down and I fail and I want to be real about that.
Second, I want others to know that even when we fail, if we turn to the Father and ask for His forgiveness He will readily be there for us. Ready to pick us up, dust us off and encourage us to try again.
Ephesians 1:7-8  In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace, that He lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.