Chris Rice, Tell Me the Story Again

Just a great song..I never get tired of listening to.

Who knew?

Who knew? That is the thought that has repeatedly run through my head over the last 12 or so hours. Seriously! Who knew that you could wake from a deep sleep to fully awake in like a second and half. I surely did not. This morning about 5am I woke to the sound of a chicken having a fit. It sounded like she was laying an egg, but it was 5 in the morning and still dark out. I instantly knew something was not quite right. I lied there quietly in my bed for a few moments thinking..who knew a chicken could be such an effective alarm clock.
A few short moments later huge blast of adrenaline hit my system as I listened to the sound of feet running past my bedroom window. Yes, it is still dark and still 5 am. Not knowing who the feet belonged to sent my body into instant fight or flight mode and I could have taken on the world at the moment. Instead I quietly crawled out from under my mosquito net and went to the window. Nothing...now roaming the house and peeking out from window to window. Finally ending in the dining room and seeing my night guard standing out in the yard wearing only a sarong. This time it hit me twice....
First...who knew he could run so fast! As he passed my window it would seem he was setting some sort of Olympic record. Second...and a little more humorous...who knew big strong African men slept in skirts? :)
In the end it turned out he was chasing an animal. Some sort of cat like creature that was wanting one of the chickens for a quick early morning snack.
I realized during my coffee time this morning that I will be headed home in just over 30 days. Wow..that means 5 months has passed so quickly. Who knew? Who knew you could fall in love with a dirty, dusty, poverty filled village? Who knew that you could wake up so thankful for each day? Who knew that being so far from your friends and loved ones could be so hard? Who knew that the my everyday would be so completely different? Who knew that something so hard, that stretches me so far, and leaves me on my knees battered and broken, could be, would be so WORTH IT?
So the day continues and I find out that although the presidential election has come and gone, local elections are still continuing. Yesterday they voted for Mayor and Local council. Apparently people care about that a whole lot more. There has been some violence in both Kampala and Jinja. So apparently people really care...who knew?
Then I spent a good part of the day at the local HIV clinic. It was rather sad and always leaves me a little depressed. Today I sat in a seat surrounded by 51 children of various ages, all with HIV. 50 of them were from another NGO that works here in Jinja, but it was amazing to see all of them sitting there all at once waiting to see the Dr. Then my little guy....the one I brought to see the Dr..another who knew moment. Who knew.....that it would be me sitting in that chair chair today, holding that sweet little child, only 5 years old, as we got the news that he has officially advanced to stage 4 of his disease. Which means, he has gone from HIV to full blown AIDS. Oh how my heart aches. Oh how wrong it seems. How unjust and unfair. I'm so angry. I remember reading somewhere in the bible how the sins of the parents shall pass along their children and I think...Wow is this a case of that or what. This sweet child has done nothing. And yet his future is grim. His outcome, short of a miracle intervention from God, already decided. We will fight of course. And we will do for him all we can, but my heart just aches. He is already so sick. And me..of all the people in the world to be here today for this moment. Really...who knew? And then I remember God. God KNEW! He knows everything. He knows everyone. He knows the outcome and the sorrow and the love and the hope. He knew when he sent me that I would sit in that chair today. He knew. So....I don't understand why, I cant even pretend to. I don't know why not someone else, or someWhere else. But I do know that God sent me and so I am trusting him. I will trust him with the moment in that chair, I will trust him with the outcome, I will trust that he had a reason for choosing me, I will trust him with the violence in town, and I will trust him when I am awake at 5am. He is my rock and my fortress, my strong tower. He is my God! He is the ONLY God! And he KNOWS!

My Grandfather

These are my grandparents. Two of the most amazing people I know. Today I am thinking of my dear sweet Mimi. 3 years ago today she lost her best friend, her sweetheart and husband of 64, yes that is 64 years! He was an amazing man that loved Jesus with all his heart, mind and soul. I am convinced that I am a follower of Christ today in part due to their years of faithful prayers for me. I just want my Mimi to know she is not alone today missing my grandfather. Lyman Lancaster spent much of his life serving Christ and he is greatly missed. Mimi...you are very much in the center of my prayers today. I love you so much.

Serving His Children Promo Video

Here is just a little glimpse of what is going on here in Masese. May the love of Christ be set deep in the hearts of these children, their families, and the villages. Thanks to all of you who help me to be here helping.

Take My Life (And Let It Be) Chris Tomlin [Lyrics]

It is so easy to get caught up in being busy. The thing I love about a day off is it allows me the luxury or the gift, depending on how you look at it, of slowing down and refocusing my heart, my mind and my soul on where it should be. God is the reason for it all. It is he alone that is worthy of our praise, our sacrifices and ultimately every aspect of our lives. I fall short of this goal every day, those I live and work with can testify to that. However, the fact that I fail only proves his worthiness that much more. His mercies are new each day, and he picks me up and offers me a new day, to lay my life down, and live for him. That truly is my desire. In all I do, say, and wish for, may the name of Jesus Christ be lifted high. May His light shine in the dark places, and His word be boldly proclaimed! He alone is worth is all!

Elections and prayer

Well we are just 3 days away from the Ugandan election. It was a long and prayerful time of decision for me, but I have decided to stay. I still believe that this is where I am called for this season, and I don't believe that I can let fear of what might happen stop me from being here. I was recently reminded that "Self-preservation is not our chief end." It is one thought that has not left my mind since I read it. It was a well timed reminder during a time I was listening hard for God to speak. That along with many other things helped me to arrive at my decision to stay. So far things here are very quiet, well peaceful is a better word. Quiet is not. The campaigning here is very different from America. There are no annoying TV commercials to turn down. Instead there are numerous trucks and meetings throughout the village with many loud speakers so it can be heard everywhere in the village. It continues throughout the day and late into the night, which is why quiet is not a good description. I am very ready for it to be over. Please pray for Uganda, the people, for a peaceful process, and all of us here at Serving His Children in the next few days. We would like nothing more than for the election to come and go without so much as a ripple in the water.
Other things you can pray for are continued and improving health for the children. We received 5 new admissions in the last week. They seem to have stabilized but as usual their journey to health will be neither fast or easy. Strength for our Director Renee as she bears the brunt of decision making and responsibility for all the happens here. Wisdom and Clarity for Danielle and I as we preform the tasks we have been called here for, and begin the decision making process of what to do next. Thank you for standing with us as we attempt to take ground for our Lord and King. May his name be lifted high in dark places!
Walking by Faith,
Jennifer

Under the African Moon

So there is this scene in the movie Under the Tuscan Sun where the lead character is sleeping in her new house in a foreign country and its storming out. She ends up having a visitor, an owl, fly in her room. She is really afraid of him but tells him he can stay as long as he doesn't fly around because he will freak her out. Well let me just say, that scene will always be a little bit funnier and I will relate a little more. It is 3 am here and I tried it her way. Let me tell you it does not work. Oh ya and my visitor was not an owl it was a bat! I don't know how in the world he got in past the screens but when I came in to go to bed....low and behold there the little creature was flying about my room a bit freaked out himself.
Well of course my first instinct is ....I need a guy to come get this thing. Well who am I gonna bother at 11 o'clock at night? No one. So I decide, okay your small your not that bad. I have a mosquito net to sleep under. Your not trying to fly into my hair, you can stay but just don't fly around the room because you will definitely FREAK me out!
Well that worked for a bit, but not long. He kept flying around crashing into things like the screens, the windows and my plastic rack of stuff next to my bed. He would then crawl around with his scratchy little toe jammy toes looking for a way out! Ick. So needless to say, I am not asleep. So I lie here thinking I got to get rid of this guy but how? If I go out of my net he is going to fly around and bump into me and that is not going to be good for him, me or anyone within at least a half mile of hear who will be awakened by the blood curdling scream.
So think...think.. think. And then a small stroke of brilliance likely brought on by watching some Steve Irwin show at some point in my life. (Thanks Steve...hope you knew Jesus and I can thank you in person some day.) I bravely crawl out of my net and open all my windows while Bert the Bat ( Hes been here long enough to need a name) flies about my room just slightly about my head. Oh Yes I am freaking out but somehow managing not to scream and wake the neighbors. So windows open, I turn out the lights and crawl back in bed. Well about 10 more minutes of banging around tells me this is not working but all his little mosquito friends are coming to join the party. So then I decide to turn on the lights and maybe he will go for the darkness. Well, I think it worked. I did not actually see him go, but he was flying aimlessly about the room and then it got quiet. It has been about 15 minutes now without a Bert sighting so I think my plan has worked. All his creepy little mosquito friends are still here, but I have my net so I should be okay. Now if I could just go back to sleep!
Oh ya...no there was no chance of me being brave enough to get a picture of Bert. I thought about it and quickly dismissed the idea as a good way to end up with a bat in my hair. So you will just have to imagine his creepy little brown mouse like body with its freakishly long wings and it scratchy little gross toe jammy toe nails climbing around on my screens.
So until later...I sign off Under the African Moon

Feb 10th 2011

Wow time is flying. The election is just 8 days away. My mind is swirling, and I really need to hear from God. Today was a hard day. I spent a big part of it sitting in a clinic with a really sick kid waiting.....that's it just waiting and waiting and waiting. Meanwhile, my flesh began to crawl off the alter once again and rose up and took over my mind for a bit. I was so frustrated! I was frustrated with almost every aspect of Africa today. I was irritated that it seems that NO WHERE in this country is anything ever URGENT!! You go into a hospital with a child who is in severe respiratory distress and it take 2 HOURS to get them on oxygen. You take another to a clinic for a ultrasound on what could be a acute abdominal problem and they wait for hours behind routine cases. Arrrgh! Nothing is every fast and nothing is ever urgent. You jump through hoops to get a blood sample from a child who hardly has any veins or blood running in them only to have the lab misplace the results and so you wait for hours for them to be found because no one thinks it merits being in a hurry to find them. Yes I know I am being very American right now, and I know it does not work or fit here in Africa, but sometimes your flesh takes over and you just have to vent a little. So then ...here comes the Holy Spirit. Uh oh. Reminding me it is my job to be patient, and kind and loving. Especially when no one else in the room is doing so. Reminding me that his timing is perfect. Reminding me that he is in control and I do not have to try and rush things, or control things. Reminding me that he knew all the events of today and how long they would take and how they would play out and that I can trust him with all of it. Hmmmm What a good and FAITHFUL Father I have. Even in the midst of me throwing my mental tantrum he comes and meets with me and speaks calm into the storm. How fortunate I am that he came and found me when I was wandering so far from the flock, lost in the darkness. How blessed I am that everyday he gives me new chances to better learn the sound of His voice and respond to it. Hmmmm. And so I end the day over my fit, convicted, repented, tired and worn out, ready for another day tomorrow if He so chooses to allow me one. Grateful beyond words that His mercies are new everyday. How cool is it that when and if I open my eyes tomorrow I start with a fresh clean slate?

more pics

So above is my front yard and view of the Lake. The view is better from upstairs. Next is my crooked pic of my nightstand which has a special something from a good friend of mine. Helps me keep my focus. And the last one is for my Mom. Christy, be sure and show her my good strong gate and the guard shack next to it! :)

So now you all know a little more about where I live.

a few pics

Just a few pics so you can see how spoiled I am. This is where I am living. I have been enjoying my day off today just sitting around, listening to podcasts, music and chatting online. It has been a good day and I am feeling very refreshed. That is probably a really good thing as tomorrow it is back to work. We received three new kids last night, added to the 7 we already had, which means tomorrow promises to be a busy day. So..anyway the pics. My front door which makes me feel a little safer at night. I know mom would like it. My living room, dining room, kitchen and bedroom. Yes, there is no doubt I am spoiled rotten. In the days to come I will be sharing this place with other Serving His Children volunteers, but for today and the near future, it is all mine. Oh ya, can you believe I even have a coffee pot! God does care about the little things. The best thing about this place is how the sun comes streaming in all day long. It wakes me first thing in the morning and stays all day. ( on the days I am here) I just love it! wish you all could come and stay in the guest room. Right now there are three of them! Just saying.....

Random Monday

Hi there,
So another day in Africa. Filled with these surreal moments that are hard to wrap my mind around at times. Last night sitting on a corner in Jinja, the red dust under my hands, watching the traffic go by, waiting for the street food Danielle and I ordered to be cooked. Wow...I live in Africa. Today, riding on the back of a Boda, the wind in my hair, the sun on my face, a young girl perched between the driver and I, the sound of the tire rubbing over ever bump. Is this really my life. Now sitting here listening to praise music, the breeze coming in off the Lake, my heart and spirit filled, wondering what God would have me do. The next few days are uncertain. So much hangs in the balance.  Reflecting on what has happened so far. The balance between life and death so fragile. The scales so easily tipped in either direction. So many lost and not knowing. My mind swirls. I am thinking of one of the Mom's who keeps showing up drunk. She shows such little love for her children. Two of them in different programs, both slowly dying of a horrible disease that they had nothing to do with. Two more trying so hard to just be loved. And she seems so indifferent. My anger boils up. I get so made. How can she? And then the Spirit reminds me of Isaiah 49:15 " Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! I am overwhelmed. God loves these people so much. And they don't even know it. They long for it, hunger for it and search for it in all the wrong places, but they do not know. My anger begins to melt. The Spirit reminds me I am only able to feel this love, this compassion, this desire for them to know him, because he has first loved me and shown me how beautiful it is. How unconditional. Can my love be any less. Oh help me Lord to love like that! It is so hard. Despite following you for these years and yearning to be covered in the dust of your feet I still fall short so much. And then this song comes on. The words are my heart... despite all that has happened, all that is happening in this moment and that which will happen in the days to come, He is worthy of it all. He is worthy of my praise, he is worthy of any sacrifice that need be made, he is worthy of it all. I HAVE A REASON TO WORSHIP!! If you don't know this song, I highly recommend you click on the link and give it a listen. I don't know if any of this is making sense to you, but i just wanted to share some of where I am right now. Thanks for your prayers.
Love Jennifer


This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow

So today is Friday..the last few days have gone by in a blur. I was off on Tuesday and on my way home from the market when I came across a man who had wrecked his boda. There were like 40 people sitting around looking at him but no one was helping him. So I stopped ( sorry mom and Carl for stopping in a crowd of people) to see if I could help. He looked to have a broken leg and wrist, so I helped arrange to have him taken to the hospital we use for all of our kids. I followed along on my boda and helped to get him settled. Well this hospital is not free and boda drivers do not make too much so in the end I committed to paying his hospital bill. Not a big deal right. Wrong...Two days later and two failed attempts at setting his wrist, today he went for surgical correction. His leg by the way, not broken after all. Praise the Lord for that. So as of now, he is out of surgery and doing well. I will be back at the hospital in the morning to check on him again.
Several cool things about this story. 1) A few days before this happen I received unexpected finances from America. Because of this I will be able to pay for his surgery which is already over one and half million shillings. ( about 750 American dollars)
2) I have had multiple opportunities to share about Christ with him, his family, his friends and the Muslim staff at the hospital who all are having a hard time believing that I would pay so much money and make repeated trips to the pharmacy and hospital for a man I do not even know. They have asked me over and over ..."you really do not know this man?" "Why are you doing this for him?" which opens the door wide to share about Christ and his love for us and his command to love one another. So for all of you out there that sent finances in the last few months....THANK YOU for making it possible to share the word!

You may pray that this man J heals well and that the Lord will provide for his family in the next 6 weeks as he heals. He will be unable to work as a boda driver with a cast on his arm.

Pray also for the kids in the house as they continue on their journey towards health. Several are on antibiotics right now, two are on IV's and one had to have a blood transfusion today due to anemia brought on by Malaria. That being said most of them are doing pretty well right now. Thanks to all for your commitment to pray and stand with us as we serve. May the name of Jesus Christ be lifted high and shine brightly in the darkness.

One last thing...please pray for the upcoming elections on Feb 18th. Pray that they will take place peacefully without and problems God will put a man of integrity and compassion for his country in place.

Loving it but missing you,
Jennifer

I still believe.....

The last 48 hours have been a lesson in trust and believing even when everything around you says to do otherwise. Sunday afternoon Renee and I took one of our newest kids to the hospital. He was not breathing well and was just not looking right. I told Renee that there was really nothing I could put my finger on but it just did not feel right. She agreed and off we went. Let me just say that hospitals here are just such a different experience than America. Have I said that before? It took over an hour for the staff to find an oxygen tank and get it hooked up but finally around 4pm baby H was on oxygen and showing some improvement. Next we had to go home and get the nebulizer that I had brought from American in October. Lesson there, always trust that leading in your heart.(I had no idea at the time what it was for.)The hospital had one, but it had broken parts and could not be used. Another hour and half later, a breathing treatment was given and once again some improvement was seen. Things seemed to settle a bit and plans were made on how to handle the rest of the night. With the baby admitted, the decision was made that I would stay at the hospital and Renee would stay at home with several of the others that needed medicated and observation. Things seemed ok. Well all that changed at 10:30. At that time the oxygen ran out and I was informed there was no more and no way to get anymore until morning. I was still very hopeful at this point but soon baby H began to have problems. A little after 11 we gave another breathing treatment which seemed to help a little but his breathing was still far from good. By 12:30 I was starting to get really concerned. I had at least 10 conversations with different nurses and staff trying to find a way to get more oxygen. Around 1 I called Renee, together we decided that we must move the baby in an attempt to get him oxygen. She made it to the hospital faster than I thought humanly possible. We spent the next hour and half driving from one hospital to another to clinics and private run homes that might possible have oxygen. While Renee skillfully drove at high speeds through the sleeping town, I was in the backseat with baby H trying to help him breathe via a bag and mask. We were turned away again and again from hospitals who had no oxygen. Finally around 2:45 despite our desperate attempt at CPR baby H slipped away as his mom stood helplessly by and watched. I have never felt so helpless, small and out of control in my life. My heart is broken for the life that ended 11 months after it began in a way that seemed so unfair.

So what do I do with this? I am trying desperately to run to God with it. With my pain, with my lack of understanding, and with my anger that I know needs to be given to him. I am trying to not put my American standards of how things should be on all of this. I am trying hard to trust and cling to the fact that God knew all of this would occur before the foundations of the earth were laid. He knew the number of days baby H would have, he knew Renee and I would be there, and he knew those we would wake in the night who would try so desperately to help. So in this moment, I don't pretend to understand. I am clinging to His character. To his goodness, and his mercy. To his Faithfulness. To His knowledge of what needs to happen and who needs to be involved. I am grateful that I can fall in his lap and cry and be broken and allow him to comfort me. I am so grateful that I do not have to try and work through this alone. He is my comfort.

I end by saying thanks to all who were praying that night. God answered those prayers. Just not in the way we would have hoped for. A special thanks to one person, Helen who worked so hard to help that night and shared in our suffering in the end.

As I write this I am listening to Jeremy Camp sing I still believe.....It is so right for the moment..

" I still believe in your in your faithfulness

I still believe in your truth,

I still believe in your holy word,

Even when I don't see I still believe!"

Please pray that I will continue to walk by faith and not by sight.

And a note for Katie Patterson: God knew and was trying to prepare me for that night. It all makes sense now. Thanks for your faithfulness in sharing what God put on your heart.

Jennifer