T minus 11

So mom spent the last few days in the hospital. Another episode in the cycle of TIA's. Never  really find a cause or prevention of another one. She seems fine now but it make me worry. It is always hard to leave and it always comes at a cost. It is a constant struggle between feeling called to serve, and feeling called to care for my mom. Today she is fine. a little tired but seems otherwise fine. I confess I worry about being judged by those around me who may not understand how I can still go. I struggle with that in my own spirit at times. However one thing to me is clear in this moment. I feel strongly that the Lord has opened this door and directed my steps. He has provided an opportunity that seems so clearly designed as a perfect  fit for me. He has provided financially, spiritually, physically and continues to bring peace to my heart most of the time. It does not seem to me that He would arrange all of this so perfectly only to slam the door in my face. That does NOT line up with the God I know or the quality of the character I know him to have. So I will continue to walk forward. One thing I now from the past is serving always has a price.Sometimes it is financial, or loneliness or over coming fear. Sometimes it is the loss of something I thought I wanted or needed. It is always worth it.  Please pray that I will be able to withstand the cost however that may be revealed. 
My hope is to serve with joy and love. By His Spirit I know I can do this.